Escpae of the Robot Penguin

Posted in Fiction with tags , , on November 13, 2012 by randomintermissions

… Simon the Robot Penguin …

Simon looked dazed and confused, but then robot penguins often do.

Standing in a pool of blood, knife in hand, he desperately searched his data files for the sequence of events that had led him to this point.

It was a simple design flaw; robot penguins are not water resistant.


The re-return

Posted in About Me on November 13, 2012 by randomintermissions

… what are you searching for? …


Imagine the surprise a 20-something chap experiences when he logs on to his old blog and discovers that it is still drawing people’s attention! A big thank you for everyone who continues to view this blog and I hope that you are at least vaguely amused by it – although I do worry about what you are searching for on Google!


Hey, listen!

Posted in Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 13, 2011 by randomintermissions

Hey you, stupid, what are you doing right now? Sat around, being bored? Furiously masturbating to while away the fruitility of existence? Well if it’s the former, you are in for a treat. If it’s the later, the get the hell off my blog, finish your business, clean up, wash you hands and then return for what follows.

What Follows:

In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires the demons and the forces of … No wait that’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But right now there is a band, and this band will put a smile on your face as you lean back and contemplate their sound waves. I am of course talking about Collider.

... Collider (The Band) ...

Now I used to be at university with one of the band members, so maybe I am a touch biased, but that is no excuse not to get up off your arse (actually you may need to stay seated) and begin frantically following the links provided for you below. Need more convincing? Well I took the time to speak with Collider to give you a nice introduction and hopefully prod you in the right direction:

The Line Up:

Mase: Drums

Bill: Guitar, vocals, programming

Simon: Bass

... Here they are ...

The Influences:

“Our influences are Radiohead, Sigur Ros, Goodspeed etc…” [Yes that is a quote straight from the horses (or bassists) mouth just today]

Any Other Business?:

“We make our own instruments, awesome visuals, we are also very tight and very loud.”

——————  ——————  ——————  ——————  ——————  

But wait, before you close your internet window, there is more! I know I can spin a story from time to time, but it isn’t just me who enjoys Collider, no sir! My house mates and everyone who has seen them play also adores them!

Don’t just take my word at face value, check out what these fine reviewers think:

“COLLIDER – Radiohead gun it down the slipway as Mogwai fail to hit their breaks at the junction and Sigur Ros plough straight into the whole shebang.”

Bugbear (

“Most effective use of a nintendo DS I’ve seen by a band! Post rock guitar lines steeped with radiohead urges while pushing everything forward with one of the most energetic drummers I have seen. Hugely promising and I for one, want more.”
Screaming Ground

“think BJORK, RADIOHEAD / PORTISHEAD with their own twist and you start to get an idea of who Collider are and what they can bring about….AMAZING”

“COLLIDER sound a bit like the end of this world, or the start of the next one- subtle mixes of low-fi and incredible electronic wizardry. Much of the band’s equipment has been created, and programs written by the band to create their own truly unique sound that pays homage to the idea of really original music! Really exciting stuff….!”






And if you really like them (as well you should) then you can also buy stuff…

... Funk yeah! ...

Rule 374

Posted in About Me, Random on August 28, 2011 by randomintermissions

It doesn’t matter if your socks don’t match…

... Odd socks are cool ...

The film script romance

Posted in About Me, Rantings with tags , , , , , on August 23, 2011 by randomintermissions

Before you get too engrossed, this isn’t going to be a detailed analysis into the subject of how T.V. and film is ruining romance for the masses, more of a personal rant. Should the former be your bag, then I am sure a quick Google search will reveal what you are looking for. Merry hunting.

Gone with the Wind

Anyway, recently I tried the whole being set up thing again, not entirely sure why baring in mind each previous attempt at this has ended in failure (I am not sure whether my friends just have a really poor perception of the type of girl I like or whether they are simply doing it to be cruel) but I figured what the hell, it can’t hurt, right?

Now, the first thing you should be thinking is “When has the expression ‘It’s can’t hurt, right?’ ever been uttered when in some way shape or form it hasn’t in fact ‘hurt'”. None as far as I can recall [if you have experienced this, then feel free to correct me].

Asides aside, the first date was rather nice, very ‘clicky’ and chatty, got to know each other reasonably well. There was a little pressure with her having children, but quite reasonably I was not expected to be involved with them, not at least until I long way down the line and for that I was grateful. I am no where near ready for my own kids, let alone starting to integrate myself with others.

Now obviously having children is a huge responsibility, and I would never take anything away from that, least not from a single mother. Juggling baby-sitters and free time must be an absolute nightmare. So when I enquire as to a second date on a weekday evening, I didn’t go in with high expectations and sure enough she’s busy. No harm, no foul. I set about making other plans, working late and possibly a drink or two. But then a text, she’s has managed to get someone to watch the kids. Great at first glance, but oh shit, I am working late… working late + Ben = bad mood. Oh well, it all was very late notice, I’ll just let her know and we can sort something out for another time, be a little bit more organised. Oh how wrong could I be?

Four hours of being accused / shouted at for “messing her about” later, followed by discussions you would only expect the long married and bitter to have the classic “Please do not contact me again” text has been received.

I long for that fairy tale romance: Boy meets girl, they go on a crazy, random exciting adventure, fall in love and live happily ever after (of course I mean more Doctor Who than Disney), but life just isn’t like that.

Having written all this out, there appears to be no point or drive to it other than to vent my frustration. I hope I haven’t bored you too much dear reader, but I do have one simple request for you; if you know someone you think would be ‘perfect’ for me… right now I am not bloody interested!

Ode to the Irish… (Part Two)

Posted in About Me, Random with tags , , , , , , on June 15, 2011 by randomintermissions

Some of you may have seen my status update on facebook last yesterday about amusing phrases I have overheard on my trip to Ireland this week. For those of you that didn’t, here you go:

... From the facebook of Ben Chandler ...

So, day complete, I have myself a nice little meal and settle down for a nice sleep in preparation for the following day still smiling a little to myself. Today I woke up refreshed, shower, breakfast and then stroll outside to wait for my lift. No sooner am I out of the doors to the hotel that I look up and spot a green road sign. Nothing to special about that, but this green road sign was announcing in big, bold, white letters (in both Gaelic and English,) that it is a mere 10KM to the charming Irish town of Limerick. As the smile spreads slowly across my face the corner of my eye spots three businessmen striding across the car park. I cannot hear their conversation and there is nothing really notable about them until without warning and with considerable volume, the chap in the middle spouts “Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on…

If someone doesn’t, in all seriousness, great me with “Top of the morning to you” tomorrow, I am going to be flying home a bitterly disappointed man.

This post is for [insert name here]

Posted in Random on May 30, 2011 by randomintermissions

There is some irony in what I am about to write in so far as this is a generic post for each and every one of you about the nature of individuality.

Life is a funny old thing, it has that unexplainable way of getting on top of us and grinding us into a rut.


... The Bluth Company ...

When you think about it, I mean really think after having looked into loads of conflicting arguments about the nature of man and why / how we are here, all it really boils down to (ignoring religion of course) is a collection of atoms. Everything in the known universe is made of the same building blocks resulting in you, yes you, made of the same essential parts as the stars and the computer screen (or mobile device) you are currently staring at. It just so happens that a fluke that no one can explain at present has resulted in an arrangement of those building blocks that has made you, a unique and exciting possibility.

We all have little quirks and eccentricities that make us who we are, and those should be celebrated. Humans are all the same and yet so drastically different, take who you are, those crazy thoughts you might have, that inner monologue, that weird tick, whatever it is, take it, celebrate it and be magnificent.