The Oncoming Storm

... The Oncoming Storm ...

A lone red dot glows, hovering, suspended in the air. That’s the only way anyone would know he was there, a lone Englishman standing, smoking on a balcony in Ireland (not to be confused with Northern Ireland of course, one would not want to upset the locals after all). Enveloped in the 8pm winter darkness, he paced, deep in thought.

It had been a rough year; nothing traumatic, just more of a non-event. At 24, he had always assumed he would have life figured out, be settled down with a nice girl, be living in a small apartment, striving away at a job he loved. So far he had achieved none of this, but he had no one to blame but himself. Laziness, that was the problem, complete bloody laziness. All his plans, all his dreams, desires, needs from life, so far he had strived for nothing and simply sat back and let the world revolve around him, sweeping him along and taking no control over the events that unfolded.

In the quietness of the countryside with only the light of the stars to give him any concept of his scene, he quietly leans back against the mottled stone wall, muttering under his breath. It was time to change, time to take action. The New Year was approaching and he knew it was cliché, but his mind turned to thoughts of new beginnings, change and The Oncoming Storm.

Glancing skywards, a shooting star blazed across the sky before burning into nothingness. The guy observes as it dissipates and laughs, shaking his head.

Turning inside to light a coal fire, thoughts of change run through his head, filling him with excitement.

Left 4 Dead 2: Demo

Last night I downloaded and played the Left 4 Dead 2 demo from XBox Live.

... 17/11/2009 ...

I was a big fan of Valves orignal game realised 21st Nov. 2008 (yup, that’s right, just one year ago) but after a couple of months, and having played the campaigns multiple times, I began to get bored. What had been a brilliant concept (online, multiplayer, zombie, survival horror) began to get stale.

... 21/11/2008 ...

Yes, there was the AI engine that monitored how you were doing in the game and either eased up on you or threw additional hordes if you were doing poorly or well respectively. And yes there was cleaver bit of programming tech that analysed all the music you had heard so far in your campaign and would ensure it played something different to keep the atmosphere fresh. And yes there were the cool “special” zombie types and the cool level designs and everything else that made this game so addictive to start. And yes there was the free DLC (downloadable content) which added a new game style; but time took its toll and I eventually traded it in for something else (Fallout 3 I believe).

I was therefore a little shocked when it was announced at E3 that there would be a Left 4 Dead 2 coming out exactly one year (well, give or take a week or so) after the originals release. Also, to my disgust there was no mention of Valves other massive and eagerly awaited title; Half Life 2, Episode 3, but that’s a whole other rant.

So, returning to the point in hand, L4D2. The developers have thrown in a load of new extras: extra “special” zombie types (N.B. this article seems to have missed out the roaming witch, but I was unable to find a comprehensive list of the new zombie types), extra weapons / ammo types, extra pickups (Boomer Bile, adrenaline shots and even defibrillators), but this just gives the distinct impression that they are trying to cover up the games lack of originality or spark. Don’t get me wrong, I throughly enjoyed my play through of The Parish (the first two parts of this campaign make the demo, much like they did for the first game); it was fun and exciting and scary all in the right proportions, but this does feel very much like it could have been handled better as DLC, extending on the original game instead of marketing it as a new entity.

... The Parish - Demo out now ...

There is also one possible, and I do stress ‘possible’, downside to L4D2. Will peoples loyalty to the original game waver? I sit on the fence between being a casual and hardcore gamer, and as I have already stressed, I loved the original game, but I have no intention of picking it up again. I shall be picking up a copy of L4D2, play it until I get bored again and then move on to whatever the next big thing will be.

Having said this, the hardcore gamers / Left 4 Dead fans will own and continue to play and enjoy both games for many years to come.

_____________________________________________

EDIT: Further browsing for details on the demo, infected and plot points led me to an interesting article. It turns out that some of those very cleaver gamers out there have developed a PC mod for the demo that allows you to play Verses Mode and try out the new special infected before the game comes out. I have been purely a console gamer for quite a while now (my home computer just isn’t good enough to allow me to run newer games, even with the marvel that is Windows 7) but it’s little things like this that make me miss PC gaming. There is also the added benefit of the price! PC games in general are always cheaper than their console counterparts.

Reset

What have they done to Doctor Who?

... Doctor Who 2008 ...

I am a fan, a BIG fan of Doctor Who. Well geek, I suppose, but oh well. However, recent developments in the Doctor Who universe leave me feeling rather disappointed and a little bit worried. Most people know by now that a new Doctor will be taking over from David Tennent in 2010. This is a great shame as in my humble opinion, Tennent has done a fantastic job of portraying the 900 and a bit year old Time Lord, but his parting words implied that if he didn’t jump ship when he did, then he would have to be carted out of the T.A.R.D.I.S. in a  bath chair.

Our new Doctor will be one Matt Smith, the youngest actor to play the role to date. Now that’s fine, I wouldn’t mind having a crack at being the Doctor myself (just a shame I can’t act) and I am a couple of years younger than Mr. Smith, but having seen the guy interviewed and read comments he has made, I have taken an instant dislike to him. He’s too… what’s the word? Camp? Arrogant? A combination of the two? I could be wrong, and to be fair the first time I saw Tennent interview I wasn’t keen and was subsequently proven wrong, but I fear Smith could be the worst Doctor yet.

So, new Doctor… fair enough, that happens from time to time, what with the Doctor’s ability to regenerate and the like. But when the program returned to our screens in 2005, it was obviously a bit of a reboot having been off-air for nearly 20 years. Now, just four years and two Doctors later they are “rebooting” the show again. Steven Moffat (possibly the best Doctor Who writer since the show returned in 2005) will be taking over from Russell T. Davies as head writer, fair enough… but a new Doctor and new head writer is not what I would consider cause enough to require them to completely reboot the franchise, introducing a new logo, a new interior of the T.A.R.D.I.S. and restarting the series number count from 1 again (this will mean that in Doctor Who’s history to date there will have been 3 series 1s. The very fact they feel a reboot is required scares me and implies that the program is in trouble and they are desperately attempting to cling to their fan base now that David Tennent is leaving.

... 2010 Doctor Who Logo ...

[actually, in retrospect, I quite like the new logo...]

Thankfully, before his departure we still have a few golden moments of Tennent to look forward to. The next of the 2009 specials, The Waters of Mars, will be airs on BBC One, 15th Nov. (the time is unknown at present) quickly followed by a 6-part animated adventure, Dreamland, to start on November 21st (although clips of this are available online and it looks like the worst animation I have seen in a while). Finally, there will be two specials over the Christmas period that will see the demise of the present Doctor in what is allegedly a very emotional farewell and rumoured to see [spoilers ahead, highlight to view...] Rose Tyler before she knew the Doctor seeing him regenerate.

Having said that, I could just be being paranoid and it could be the best season yet.

Duck on a skateboard…

… no word of a lie.

... Bert the Duck ...

 

Since early 2003 I have had a duck on a skateboard. Not a real duck you understand; that would be cruel as the only way I can think of to make it stay there would be to employ some kind of Monty Python style “nails through the feet” kind of tactic. No, of course I am referring to a plastic duck sat on a miniature skateboard.

The story of how this bedroom feature came to be requires me to don a Grampa Simpson style voice and to settle back in my chair. During my first year of university I was then a lowly Media Production student toying with the potential of my creativity (it didn’t get me very far). Fine fine summers morning we were presented with the task of creating a short film. Peter Andre had just re-realised “Mysterious Girl” and the radio stations could not get enough of it, driving everyone on campus insane (apart from those few girls that never left their teeny-bopper phase). Long story short, the media has always been a medium for people to complain about things they do not like. I do not like, approve or in any way condone Peter Andre (and do not get me started on Katie Price / Jordan / ugly big tits, knows how to control the media face), therefore the logical choice in my drink destroyed 18-year-old mind was to create a short film where I am driven insane by “Mysterious Girl”, predict the future and subsequently get killed but a duck. Enter Bert, a £3.99 (worth every penny) plastic mallard duck from Wilkinson’s who stared on location in Nottingham in a Western style showdown with myself… unfortunately I lost. The film was made and Bert was supplied with all the fake bread he could eat.I had grown attached and I couldn’t possibly throw Bert away, he had a name, he had earned me a rather respectable 2:1 on my project, he had to stay. I set him up in my room on the floor and through nothing much of it for the following two months.

I then acquired a miniature skateboard. The events around this story you will be glad to hear have been completely forgotten due to extreme alcohol abuse, but I awake one hazy, hung over morning to discover Bert perched upon it. I can only assume that in my drunken state I believed a duck on a skateboard would be one of the best things imaginable… after all I still think that now! It’s either that or Bert somehow came alive during the night and placed himself on it… which to be honest is a bit of a scary thought for anyone who has seen Mannequin (1987).

N.B. Steps altered and events embellished to the story more amusing.

So imagine my surprise when, six and a half years later, I glance down at Bert, smile and Google the two words: “duck skateboard” to find several entries referring to one Herbie the Skateboarding Duck:

... Herbie the Skateboarding Duck ...

Herbie has unfortunately passed on, but it would seem that due to an appearance on the BBC’s “Nationwide” programme in 1978, Herbie has a bit of a cult following, his program being aired again and again on various channels across the globe and even could be attributed to creating the “lighter side of the news” segments that we see parodied so often. Here’s to you Herbie.

Addition reading regarding Herbie can be found here, here, here and here and also by Googling Herbie the skateboarding Duck.

My Google searches also turned up this little gem who as far as I am aware, had no name… but he / she will be referenced non-the-less:

... fit that in your bath ...

So, after years of Bert’s companionship, it finally transpires that he has company in the duck skateboarding community and that productions teams in the media rarely do their research until it’s too late.

Two little gems…

… that have kept me amused for most of the day:

Superman... NOOOOOO

Women, know your place.

The views and comments depicted in these pictures do not represent the views or opinions of Ben Chandler or his staff.

Vrooom

I have never been into cars – for some reason they just haven’t interested me, until now. I have recently discovered a passion for older cars and even with my lack of mechanical knowledge, I have a desire to buy an older car and “do it up”.

This is just a quick post to share the cars that I crave.

If you want to buy me one… I wont mind…

‘69 Mustang

Not the best colour in the world, but she’ll do

... Mustang Sally ...

‘69 Camero

My fav, without a doubt

... a classic ...

Dodge Viper (year unknown)

The sporty one – famed for only going in a straight line, but still damn pretty

... the sports model ...

Now if only I had some money…

Check your kid’s homework…

...

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child’s illustration.  It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint.  I work at a hardware store and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.  This drawing is of me selling a shovel.
Mrs. Harrington

The Three Song Rule

The Three Song Rule (here after refered to as TSR to save my precious fingers) is a complex yet adaptable art. I am not of course referring to the popular music book, but instead the lesser known method of deciding when to call it a night.

So you have been out (congratulations you little socialite) and  you have had an alright night; there were drinks, bit of dancing, good friends, but the evening is starting to dwindle and you are beginning to feel that maybe now is the right time to go home. But what if you miss something? A good song, the girl / guy of your dreams? It’s time for the TSR.

... Time to go ...

The TSR is complicated in nature. In basic terms, you allow three songs to play and if those three songs are terrible, you vacate the premises and head home. If one of those songs is (agreeably by all in your group) good, then you remain and reset the count. The complexity comes in the rules for a reset:

Finding the right time to begin the count is vital. Everyone in your group must be at the same stage of considering moving on. When the call goes up to begin, you wait until the beginning of a new song. This is song one and is nearly always a let down. Chalk it up…

Song two begins, and it’s okay, nothing fantastic, but not enough to make you cover your ears howling in pain – what do you do? Consider it as okay and reset the count? Consider is as terrible and chalk it up as song 2? The easier option is to just ignore it and pretend it never happened, making the next song, song 2.

Song two therefore will be terrible, it’s the way DJs seem to work as they are approaching the later hours of the evening. Small hints of decent music, enough to keep you hovering, but ultimately let downs. Chalk it up…

Song three – now this will be a good one. It’s Sod’s law. Song three will always tip the balance and have you running like the now drunken fool you are to the dance floor and throwing yourself around like a 17-year-old again. Enjoy it and reset the count.

Things then get a little simpler and usually this will happen:

Song 1 – terrible

Song 2 – terrible

Song 3 – terrible

Meaning it’s time to go, goodnight, The Three Song Rule has spoken.

______________________________________________________________________________

N.B. Please note that these are my interpretations of the three song rule as utilised on most ventures into town, please use and adapt as you see fit.

What has two thumbs and has returned to the world of bloggin’?

This Guy:

... this guy ...

Recently returned from hospital and back in the real world. Let the good times roll.

Bring on the trumpets!

At The Bottom

Being a fan of Brand New, I feel it important to direct everyone here to listen to their new single, At The Bottom from the soon to be realised album Daisy.

- at the bottom –

- daisy -